26 Weeks

I was 26 weeks pregnant with my first child. My husband, Aaron, had been out of town for a National Sales Convention for work. I went to Dr. Bruhn on Tuesday, January 24 for my scheduled appointment. This was the only appointment that Aaron had not been able to make so Sarah, my twin sister, went with me. At this appointment I had to do the whole glucose tolerance test thing and I was thrilled when the nurse told me that my blood sugar levels and hemoglobin were both perfect. Dr. Bruhn got out her hand-held dopler and listened to Jonah's heart beat at 150 beats per minute. She assured me that everything looked great and she would see me back in four weeks.

After this appointment, the rest of the week I kept thinking that it was strange that I had not felt Jonah move since Tuesday, or was it Monday? I couldn't remember the last time that I felt him move and that was bothering me. Aaron came home on Thursday and I told him that I had not felt Jonah move. He assured me that he was probably fine and I was just trying too hard to feel him move. I figured Aaron was right and I tried to push the thought to the side. Well, by Sunday I could not push it away any longer. That afternoon, while getting all of our documents together so we could get our taxes done, I decided I would drink a Supernova Mountain Dew. I do not normally drink regular drinks, especially not Mountain Dew because it is loaded with calories, sugar, caffiene and I would rather eat my calories in chocoloate than drink them! But, I figured this drink would definitely make Jonah move so I drank the whole thing. And there was nothing. I remember going to church that night where we were having a "Fifth Sunday Night Sing" and all I could think about was why hadn't Jonah moved. I remember feeling mad and angry but not really knowing why. I sat with my hand on my stomach the entire church service. After church on Sunday nights, me and Aaron always go to Wal-Mart and get our groceries for the week. While there, I bought a fetal heart monitor, even though I thought it was ridiculous that it was about $25...but the price didn't matter if I could get some sort of peace-of-mind. When we got home, me and Aaron and Ruby (our Weimeraner and baby girl!) piled-up on the couch with the fetal heart monitor. It had two sets of earbuds so me and Aaron could both listen at the same time. I searched and searched but I figured I was either missing Jonah's heartbeat or I didn't know what I was doing. We listened for my heartbeat, Aaron's heartbeat and even Ruby's and we heard everyone but I just could not get Jonah's to pick up. I finally got so frustrated and gave up and we all went to bed.

The next morning I went to work and I emailed my Aunt Debbie who is the head of OB at the hospital in town. When I didn't hear back from her a couple of hours later I decided I would just call her. I went downstairs to my friend's office so that no one would hear me and get in my business, afterall, I was probably just being a worry-wart. Amanda let me use her phone and pretty soon I was explaining everything to my Aunt Debbie, fighting back a lump in my throat that just appeared out of nowhere. We decided that I would stop by the hospital when I left for lunch and Aunt Debbie would try to see if she could hear Jonah's heartbeat. My boss said for me to take as much time as I needed and I called Aaron and told him that I would call him as soon as I was done so he would feel better as well.

When I got there, Aunt Debbie took me into a room and used a big monitor to try and hear the heartbeat. After it didn't work for her she went and got the hand-held doppler, saying it usually worked better for her than the big monitor anyways. While she was running it all over my stomach, I couldn't stop the tears anymore. Dr. Bruhn had never had a problem finding Jonah's heartbeat so why couldn't we find it now? I just knew, deep down, that something was not right. Aunt Debbie told me to stop crying, that everything was fine and then she stepped out of the room for a moment. When she came back in, she brought a midwife in with the older ultrasound machine that they use on the OB floor. The midwife began searching for the heartbeat with the ultrasound and told me that there was no fluttering of the heart on the machine. She wanted to admit me and have someone from Radiology to come and do a more high-tech ultrasound. By now I was crying, I couldn't hold it back anymore. Aunt Debbie called Aaron to tell him that he needed to come to the hospital. When Aaron got there he busted out crying and asked me what was going on, what had happened...By the time I told him that they couldn't find Jonah's heartbeat, the lady from Radiology was there, ready to do an ultrasound. She looked for several minutes and took pictures, only to turn her head towards my Aunt Debbie and shake her head. I just fell apart right then because I was so confused, so hurt and just so shocked that at one minute everything was fine, and the next minute my whole world was upside down. Several of our family members and a couple close friends stopped by in the next 30 minutes that followed to cry with us and to show us that they care. Ultimately, we decided that we wanted to go see Dr. Bruhn, my regular doctor, because I was still going to have to deliver my Jonah...just because he was gone didn't mean that it was all over right then.

We stopped by our house to let Ruby out and to pack a bag just in case we needed it and then we headed to Thomasville to Dr. Bruhn's office, who knew we were on our way. Once there, Dr. Bruhn explained what had to happen and we decided that we wanted to do everything as soon as possible, so as not to drag everything out. Dr. Bruhn pulled some strings so that I could still get an epidural even though I had not had the chance to sign up for one yet and it was decided that I would come back the next morning at 7:30 am to the hospital in Thomasville and I would be induced. We left and decided we were hungry and we wanted to just go sit somewhere and eat and talk, by ourselves. We went to Longhorn's and we just sat there and ate in disbelief. Once we were finished, we went home to our Ruby and then family members trickled in to check on us until it was time to go to bed and get prepared for what the next day would hold.